School Supply List: The Teacher's Pet vs The Rebel

Yes, back to school has almost arrived.

And celebrating back to school is great and all, and education is the key to growth and all that jazz, but let’s be real here...

After that first week or so of being excited to reunite with long lost friends and learning about what makes your new teachers tick, you get a little antsy … for next summer.

So I’m here to make light of the dreaded back to school feeling we all get in the pit of our stomachs once school actually starts. It’s like why did I even try and pretend I’m excited to go back to school? We (or at least I) realize preeettyyy darn quickly that being bored at home is better than being lectured at in school – and then we start missing Price is Right tremendously (okay, just me gosh).

Side Note to all children out there: Just because you’re reading this blog, STAY in school! It’s good for your head, your mind, and your brain too (School of Rock anyone?).

Here is a school supply list for those students who are always prepared ... whether that's for school or for fun is a whole other story.

1. Rubber Bands

What you should use them for:

Tying your poster together for that obnoxiously huge project you have to carry around until fifth period because it can’t fit in that obnoxiously small locker of yours. These rubber bands come in handy to hold the poster together! At least now you won’t slap people with the paper in the hallway or give them a paper cut as they pass. Yes, the former has in fact happened to me. I give you permission to laugh.

What you actually use them for:

Once the teacher leaves, the rubber band shooting fights begin. It’s like the Hunger Games, but no one dies or gets hurt … that badly. I am still trying to learn how to correctly operate a hand rubber band gun. I am 23 years old.

2. Paper Clips

What you should use them for:

Colorfully decorate your papers and hold them together AT THE SAME TIME with these awesome paper clips! That’s some Harry Potter magic right there, minus the Harry Potter magic. (But we do have all of the colors for each house: Red and Gold for Gryffindor, Green and Silver for Slytherin, Blue and Brown for Ravenclaw, and Yellow and Black for Hufflepuff. Yeah, JAM kind of rocks.)

What you actually use them for:

Really-difficult-to-bend Origami. That lasts all period trying to figure out.

3. Folders

What you should use them for:

Folders are meant for organizing all of your assignments, homework, and essays. One pocket can be for one subject and the second for another. Now you won’t hand off your “To Kill a Mockingbird” critical essay when you should have handed off your math take-home test.

What you actually use them for:

To hide your J-14 magazine, Sports Illustrated, or other inappropriate magazines. It looks like you’re working hard, until your principal walks in randomly and finds Carmen Electra instead of your history lesson inside the pocket. Can you say … awkward?

4. Binders

What you should use them for:

Binders are typically used for any and all subjects, especially those that need some serious note taking.

What you actually use them for:

To show off your sweet collection of Pokemon cards. Duh.

5. Pencil Cases

What you should use them for:

For holding pencils, pens, paper clips, staples, labels, blah blah blah.

What you actually use them for:

Snacks. For some reason, you either always get the early lunch or always get the super late lunch. And since you’re a kid, you’re always hungry. So you need some snacks. Store your awesome pizza lunchables, your dunkaroos, or your mega stuffed oreos in our awesome pencil cases. Oh how I miss being able to eat whatever I want without consequence. *Stares off into dream land*

6. Staples

What you should use them for:

Stapling your documents so that they stay together forever. Kind of like … CatDog.

What you actually use them for:

The only thing I could think of has to do with weaponry, so I decided not to write about it. But technically I just did. Whoops.

7. Labels

What you should use them for:

Our labels will help you make all of your subjects color coated so getting that binder out of your locker will be easy, peasy. And being early for class means getting to be the teacher’s pet which means getting to go to the principal’s office to hand something off which means not having to be in class which is ironic because you’re the teacher’s pet.

What you actually use them for:

Sticking them on your friend’s back with terms like ‘Kick Me’ or ‘Kiss Me’ (depending on what kind of immaturity level you’re at this moment of your pubescent life).

8. Journals

What you should use them for:

Journals can help you organize your obnoxious homework list, your to-do list, your project list, or your any-other-school-related list.

What you actually use them for:

PLAYING MASH! Okay, whoever doesn’t know this game, I will personally play with them! Contact me somehow. You get to know your future basically just by counting and crossing off. Once I got Nick Jonas. In a Mansion. In London. With 529 kids. And a clown car. It’s bound to come true, right?